NEWSLETTER
Chairman’s Report December 2008.
This has been a particular bad year for our Association, we have had five Members who ‘Crossed The Bar'.
C. T.
‘LOFTY’
CASTLE.
1929--2008.
S. J.
‘JIM’
SLATER.
MBE.
1958--2008.
J. E.
‘JIM’
JENKS.
1944--2008.
G. E.
‘Chet’
Atkins.
1942—2008.
Chet Atkins Funeral at Portchester Crematorium on the 30th October, went well. Stuart Cockcroft, a Submariner, conducted the Service on behalf of Solent Funeral Services. Martin Hockley, Joe Shields MBE, Dickie Dawson BEM, Vince Conroy, Max Brand, ’Arry Whitby, ’Jacko’ Jackson and me attended, including a large number from The SA. A donation on your behalf was given to Cancer Research Ltd. Value £30.00.
A. D.
‘Alex’
Swinton.
1930—2008.
Alex’s Funeral was held at Falkirk Crematorium and a donation was sent on your behalf, value £30, to his local hospital league of friends fund, Erskine Hospital.
May I, on your behalf, send our Heartfelt Condolences to all Their Families and Friends.
I thought that this might be the time to remind us of the phrase ‘Crossing the Bar’.
CROSSING THE BAR by Lord Tennyson
In his poem, Crossing the Bar, written three years before his own death, he uses the metaphor of a sand bar to describe the barrier between life and death.
The poem describes his placid and accepting attitude towards death.
He hopes that the ocean will not make the mournful sound of waves beating against the sand bar when he sets out to sea.
He hopes no one will cry when he departs, because although he may be carried beyond the limits of time and space as we know them, he retains the hope that he will look upon the face of God his ‘Pilot’ when he has crossed the sand bar.
Sunset and evening star
And one clear call for me!
And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea,
But such a tide as moving seams asleep,
Too full for sound and foam,
When that which drew from out the boundless deep
Turns again home.
Twilight and evening bell,
And after that the dark!
And may there be no sadness of farewell
The Family Weekend to be held on the 27th Feb –1st March 2009 at the Parsonage Country House Hotel Escrick 5 miles south of York is coming along champion. This is our Eighth Nat Gould VC Dinner. Many thanks to Mitch Mitchell and Sterling for their time and trouble.
It was Tex and Johnnies Diamond Wedding Anniversary on the day of our December Monthly Meeting on the 18th. We had decided to have our December Meeting in Mitch’s Club for Xmas drinks with our Ladies, at the October Meeting. It was after the November Meeting that I learnt it was Tex’s Anniversary.
To all SETT / ex SETT Instructors
We the SETT are currently organizing a SETT Staff / Instructors 55th Anniversary Reunion on the 18th July 2009.
I am attempting to notify as many Submariners that were Ex Staff / Instructors at SETT of which there is in the region of 250+.
There is a link on the www.subescapetraining.org website where any Ex Staff / Instructors can complete and submit a form to me at SETT.
Regrettably this is only open to Ex SETT Staff. If any of you ex/ Serving Coxswains are interested please contact Curly at address/ phone below.
Ian (Curly) Callow
Deputy Chief Instructor
Foreign & Commonwealth Training
CPO SETT
9380 65308
02392 765308
An Annual Memorial Service for HMS/M Truculent on 12th Jan: 2009 at 1000 venue St. Georges Centre Chatham.
Geoff Marshall wants us to investigate the King Charles Hotel Chatham for a possible Family Weekend.
May I have a Serving Member, who can attend our Meetings in Fort Blockhouse, to volunteer for Secretary please?
The December Committee Meeting was held in Paul ‘Mitch’ Mitchell’s Club in Fareham, Mitch done us proud with the victualling, buluddy deelishush! Many thanks to Mitch for the hospitality of his Club.
Johnnie, Tex’s Lady Wife and their Daughter Karen, plus My Wife Joycee came to the Meeting for Christmas drinks after. We recognised Tex and Johnnies Diamond Wedding Anniversary by having Mitch present a bouquet of flowers from The SCA on your behalf. Their Anniversary was actually on the day of the meeting, Tex is having a Family celebration on Friday the 19th December. May they both have many more years of Happiness together.
May I also take this opportunity to wish you all a very merry Christmas and all you and your Family wish for in 2009.
Thank you to all of you for your support this year. See you in York.
Andy V
Freshly Nicked from “One all Round”
A Fishy Tale
This tale was related to me by another Vulgar Boatman, so I can’t vouch for its authenticity. It appears that this boat, which shall be nameless, was Minus a Cook rating. And a rather elderly A.B. had been detailed for this duty, much to his disgust. ‘Rather elderly” you understand, means that he must have been all of twenty-nine
Able Seaman Short was a surly character with scant respect for senior rates, and much less for the Wardroom. But he was also one of those naturally good cooks that the Canteen Messing system produced from time to time. No matter how indifferent his culinary efforts, or how restricted his choice of ingredients, the results were invariably a tasty meal, which got him excused a lot of insubordination, but no way out of the job.
The boat also had a rather pompous young sub–lieutenant (oh, you all knew a boat like that?). On this occasion, after the evening meal in the Wardroom the Captain said, “What have you got for breakfast, Short?” - which Short replied “I’ve got a couple of Kippers – the uvvers’ll ‘ave to ‘ave a bit of ‘addock”
“Very well,” said the Captain “I’ll have a kipper,” and the other officers stated there preference
The following morning the Captain had his breakfast and retired to his cabin, and the other Officers went about their duties and the Sub, who had just come down off watch had the wardroom to himself, Short plonked a kipper down in front of him.
“What’s this?” he snapped. Short, bent down over the table and with his nose about six inches off the plate, studied it from various angles and then said “It’s a kipper”.
“I know it’s a kipper,” said the Sub” but I want a piece of Haddock.”, “You, asked for a kipper,” said Short.
Sub thumped the table and said “ I tell you, I want some Haddock” Short leant over the table, picked up the kipper by its tail and slapped to and fro across Sub’s cheeks, saying. “And I tell you-slap- you asked –slap-for a bleeding kipper-slap”
Sub was thunderstruck, or perhaps I should say Kipper struck. He scrambled out into the gangway screaming for the Cox’n.
“Cox’n; Cox’n arrest this man, he assaulted me.”
‘Arrest him, Sir” said the Cox’n, “where shall I put him?’
“I don’t know,” yelled Sub, “Just arrest him?”
The Captain heard the commotion and came out of his cabin, saying, “What’s all this about?”
“It’s Short, Sir” said the Sub, “He gave me a kipper and when I asked him for haddock, he struck me with it.”
“It was an accident, Sir,” said Short, “I leant over the table to pick it up and I, ere sort of slipped like.”
“Nonsense”, said Sub “it was quite deliberate.”
‘Hmmm”, said the Captain, stroking his chin “but you know Sub, you did ask for a kipper”.
And so it fizzled out, Sub never got his bit of ‘addock and Short never lost his job.
Frank Stanley
Hedge End
For YOU
Dear Colleagues and Friends !!!
Just before the end of
the year, I wanted to thank you for the e-mails and correspondence you have
forwarded to me over the year.
I must send a big thank you to whoever sent me the one about rat shit in the
glue on envelopes, because I now have to use a wet sponge with every
envelope that needs sealing. Also, I now have to wipe the top of every can I
open for the same reason.
I no longer have any savings because I gave it all to a sick girl (Penny
Brown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
But that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft
are sending me for participating in their special email programs.
Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants to split seven million
dollars with me for pretending to be a long lost relative of a customer who
died intestate.
I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me.
I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward emails to
seven friends and make a wish within five minutes.
I no longer drink Coca-Cola because it can remove toilet stains.
I no longer can buy petrol without taking a friend along to watch the car so
a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.
I no longer go to shopping centres because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.
I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number
and then I'll get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica , Uganda , Singapore
and Uzbekistan .
I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is
lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it bites my arse.
I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it
probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to
grab my leg.
If you don't send this email to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will sit on your head at 5:00pm this
afternoon and fleas from 12 camels will infest your
back, causing you to grow a hairy hump.
I know this because it actually happened to a friend of my next door
neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.
And one I just
received this week (from a Coxn in the next office!) giving me 9 years bad
luck because I don’t forward things.
By the way......a South American scientist after a lengthy study has
discovered that people withlow
IQ who don't have enough sex, always read their emails while holding the
mouse.
Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.
Seriously, all the best for the coming year.
Andy G
UP AND COMING BIRTHDAYS
JANUARY
W. SEAGER 04/01/1933
G. LANFEAR 04/01/1948
E. SCICLUNA 06/01/1935
J. ADAM 09/01/1962
C.J. WAY 12/01/1949
P. FENWICK 15/01/1958
D.L. THOMPSON 16/01/1919
D. LILLIMAN 18/01/1927
D. HODDER 20/01/1946
M.A. LYDEN 20/01/1959
R. ROPER 21/01/1929
M. FARR. 24/01/1969
B.J. LEE 29/01/1940
FEBRUARY
A.J. REEVE 02/02/1920
M.F. DUFFY 03/02/1967
R.J.B. CURTIS 05/02/1939
F.E. ALLWRIGHT 05/02/1934
R.J.H. RUSSELL 07/02/1937
J.R. CASEMORE 12/02/1921
N. LANGDON 12/02/1939
J.D. O'SULLIVAN 12/02/1942
L.N. ROBINSON 12/02/1948
J.A. FEATHERSTONE 13/02/1923
M. MURPHY 18/02/1953
M.E. CAMPION 19/02/1943
W.T. CARAVAN 21/02/1928
M. HUBNER 21/02/1947
R.W. GRACE 27/02/1947
MARCH
M.A. SOUTHWARD 06/03/1938
R. WILLIS 07/03/1932
W.F. WYATT 09/03/1923
A.T. SCOTT 11/03/1955
D.M.A.ROGERS 11/03/1958
B.R. BENNET 13/03/1958
G. MARSHALL 19/03/1932
R. MOORE 20/03/1949
K.G. WALBY 22/03/1951
D.J. ALLOTT 27/03/1939
E.V. CAVELL 31/03/1955